A Moveable Beast

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A conversation at the grownup table, as imagined at the kids' table

MOM:
Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD:
O.K.
GRANDMOTHER:
Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD:
Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE:
I’m having sex right now.
DAD:
We all are.
MOM:
Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD:
(laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
MOM:
If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK:
Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD:
(laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM:
I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD:
I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM:
Now everything is fine.
DAD:
We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM:
There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK:
I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM:
I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
GRANDFATHER:
Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL:
Yes.
GRANDFATHER:
Don’t tell the kids.
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